“Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.”—John Lennon
A not so funny thing happened on the way to starting my business. The day after the launch of Hensel Grad P.C. – a gaming law and consultancy service – I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It turns out it really can happen to anyone. In fact, I now understand that this will happen to one in eight women. Who knew? I certainly didn’t. After 16 years invested in a stable gaming job with government, I had literally just taken the risk as a woman to enter the private sector in a male dominated global industry—and now this.
My first instinct was to tell no one other than trusted close personal friends and my business partner. I believe keeping such things private is the way women have been programmed to think. I worried my diagnosis would be perceived as a professional weakness. I realize now that I didn’t need to think that way, but I am confident I am not the only woman who has experienced the thought.
As I researched breast cancer, talked with my medical team and read the many stories of women who have gone public with their diagnosis, my thinking on staying quiet changed. I could see the merit in speaking about my circumstance if for no other reason than to enhance the awareness that this is a disease that can be conquered with proper detection, treatment and luck. And so, I am proud to follow in the footsteps of those courageous women, some of whom are leaders in the gaming industry. These women’s stories are inspirational and in my opinion demonstrate a profound level of strength.
The story of my own treatment and recovery is still early, but I have already learned important lessons in the short time leading up to and after my diagnosis. The first is that I have an incredible group of friends and associates around me who have shown me love and support. I am blessed by their presence in my life.
The second is the critical need for persistence. Whether it is balancing the demands of family, dealing with misogyny in the workplace, or overcoming breast cancer, a woman trying to make a mark in this industry is always up against some hurdle. And that is not to suggest men are immune from hurdles. Women, however, seem to enjoy an extra helping of obstacles to professional success because that is just the way of the current world. She can give up or she can persist.
When I first went to my doctor with a small lump that was not detectible by mammogram, she told me it was probably nothing to worry about. So too was the expectation when an ultrasound was performed and even a biopsy. I was, therefore, shocked when I got the call telling me it was positive for cancer and that an appointment had already been scheduled for me to meet with a surgeon. Had I dismissed the lump without persisting in getting every necessary test, the cancer would not have been caught at what is believed to be an early stage.
Persistence is a skill women are forced to master, especially in gaming. Though there are certainly a growing number of women in the ranks, women in gaming do not have a deep bench of female role models or the systemic professional support system that men have. I am not knocking men. I am simply acknowledging the playing field. One need only look at the pictures on corporate websites, on conference panels and on social media to see how leadership in gaming is defined. It is said that women must work twice as hard as men to be considered half as good. Ask a woman trying to grow her career in gaming, and I expect she will see at least some level of truth in this.
It is through persistence that I was able to be named first director of licensing for the Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board, was selected as first female president of the International Association of Gaming Regulators, was honored to be identified as one of the top 10 women in gaming in 2020 by iGB, was invited to teach gaming law and regulation at my alma mater law school and was able to start a gaming law and consultancy firm. These achievements were not and are not always easy. Like the women who have come before me and those who will come after, I have dealt with my share of challenges including those brought on by individuals seeking to undermine me. The point is, to succeed, a woman must not accept the role she is expected to play of knowing her place. She must not give up on her aspirations.
Another lesson I have learned is that of perspective. What may seem like a monumental problem has a way of losing its importance in the bigger scheme. A missed opportunity, the latest illogical headline, a cancelled vacation while seemingly important at the time, fades into the woodwork when a doctor tells you that you have some cells that are multiplying in a way that could kill you if they are not properly treated. I remember when my highest priority was completing bar admissions to further my new business. In an instant, that priority changed to understanding the significance of cancer stages. And I am lucky. I have healthcare and a support system. I am mindful of a woman I observed checking into the breast cancer clinic while I was waiting for my appointment. She was clearly financially disadvantaged. As she spoke to those around her, she expressed fear not only about her health but also about her ability to pay for the treatment needed to see her through. No matter how bad your problem may seem, I appreciate more than ever that there is always someone for whom life is more difficult.
I look at the gaming industry and the challenges women face in achieving access to the c-suite and with perspective see the slow but incremental change. While it would be nice for change to be quicker and bolder, at least we can say we have nudged forward. Today we have organizations like All-in Diversity (I am honored to be on its advisory board) using data-based methods to bring about greater diversity and Global Gaming Women, we have the word “manel” and some men who won’t sit on them, and we have a slew of bright women bubbling below the highest layers of gaming leadership who are every day working hard to make a name for themselves. Some have already broken through, and I am optimistic many more will follow.
Finally, I have learned to appreciate that we all face adversity. It is not the type of topic people are comfortable discussing openly but it seems we all struggle with something. It is, as they say, part of the human experience. Maybe it is a mental or other health challenge, or something as simple as workplace jealousy or personal insecurity or coping with a loss. It isn’t that we have adversity in our lives that matters, it is how we deal with it.
I am thankful for the friendships I have made in gaming. I am thankful for the opportunity to be embarking on a new chapter in my profession. And I am thankful for those who have faced their own roadblocks large and small and have found ways to overcome them.
As I continue my treatment, I can assure you that I have every intention of following in their path and adding cancer survivor to my resume.
