“There’s a sucker born every minute.” —attributed to P.T. Barnum
The following is a public service guide for those who wrote checks to support Proposition 27 in California—the online sports betting initiative. This will assist you in interpreting what you will soon be hearing from your brain trust of lobbyists and consultants in California—and what they are really thinking.
Thank me later.
When your California brain trust tells you: “We just need to stay together as a group and we will be able to push this across the goal line next election,” what they mean is…
Plan on continuing to get fleeced by us for at least two more years.
When your California brain trust tells you: “We have to be careful not to go into too much detail here, but things are looking very good in the Senate. Expect some important developments late in the session,” what they mean is…
It is rare to find a group as gullible as you all, and we will try and ride this train forever.
When your Californian brain trust tells you: “For reasons you certainly understand, the Governor cannot be seen as supporting this, but we are doing some horse trading behind the scenes,” what they mean is…
Bend over.
When your California brain trust tells you: “I spent the afternoon with the Committee Chair. He has to play his cards very close to the chest, but he is totally behind our effort,” what they mean is…
Continue to bend over.
When your California brain trust tells you: “The Committee Chair’s son is a lawyer. It might be in our best interest if you threw him some fees,” what they mean is…
Welcome to our Friends & Family Plan.
When your Californian brain trust tells you: “The wife of one of the committee members who can move some votes has a charity that could use some assistance,” what they mean is…
We have a lot of friends & family in our Friends & Family Plan.
When your California brain trust tells you: “We have done a deep dive into some amazing proprietary data from the last election and our shop thinks they can now steer you on a path to victory,” what they mean is…
I have a bet with my partner that you will fall for this nonsense.
When your California brain trust tells you: “The recent polls in the newspaper are baloney. Our internals tell a different story,” what they mean is…
We want all of your money.
When your California brain trust tells you: “The leadership in the state has had it with the tribes,” what they mean is…
This is just a test to see what silly things you will believe.
When your California brain trust tells you: “Schuetz doesn’t know what he is talking about,” what they mean is…
Damn, Schuetz is going to blow our cover.
Like I said, thank me later.
