Despite an impressive infrastructure, world-class entertainment and incredible special events, Las Vegas has recently been experiencing a lackluster business environment. So, it’s time for action. No, not an increase in taxes to fund more tourism marketing or more new hotels, but a State of the Casino address to galvanize industry leaders.
And while we don’t have a casino industry president, if we did, our fearless but highly anonymous leader would deliver a speech to shake the dice and roll us into prosperity. Since great leaders of the past have a way with words, let’s borrow some wisdom (and rewrite history) with some presidential-inspired soundbites:
FDR: “…the only thing we have to fear is fear itself…and a revolt against resort fees.”
Abraham Lincoln: “Comps of the casinos, by the casinos, for the casinos, shall not perish from the budget.”
JFK: “Ask not what your casino can do for you, ask what you can do for your casino…to cut costs.”
LBJ: “We shall overcome…this slump in business.”
Ronald Reagan: “The Vegas future doesn’t belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the private equity firms.”
Bill Clinton: “Nothing big ever came from being small. So, merge.”
Even paraphrased campaign slogans could be considered:
FDR: “Happy Days Are Here Again…once they widen I-15.”
Ronald Reagan: “Are you better off now than you were four casinos ago?”
George H. W. Bush: “Read my lips: no new comps.”
Bill Clinton: “A bridge to the future…but not needed to the new ballpark.”
Barack Obama: “Yes We Can, but many potential visitors can’t, so offer value.”
Donald Trump: “Make The Strip Great Again.” In other words, have special events, but don’t close off the Strip!
This State of the Casino speech could lift spirits (while facing the problem of decreasing demand) by showcasing the wisdom of former presidents. Hopefully, the room full of casino people who will hear this speech will not result in half of them applauding, while the other half sit on their hands.
If the speech is successful, we can thank another former president:
“Our long national nightmare is over. Visitors are coming back!”
