Las Vegas has changed significantly in the last several months, resulting in a host of new attractions and facilities representing the new normal. Many Las Vegas guides have not updated their listings to reflect these differences, so this column will bring you up to date with the changes in our city.
The Showgirl Memorial Garden
It’s a nod to the past, featuring statues with feathers, rhinestones and headdresses that represent this bygone era. It’s free to the public, but in keeping with tradition, there’s a two-drink minimum. (Pro tip: great seats if you tip the maître d’.)
Cigarette Girl Marquee
In another nod to the past, an anonymous donor is developing a cigarette girl marquee, which will be paired with the Vegas Vic sign, making it obvious where he gets his smokes.
The Mob Home for the Aged
A new senior development that offers quiet living for those gangsters who have survived, but no longer have the energy to visit the Mob Museum.
Cancel Culture Comedy Club
An oxymoron, yes, but funny at the same time… or is it?
Monorail Bar
Why wait until you get to your favorite resort? Hop aboard and raise a toast to your quick travel time.
Touchless Wedding Chapel
Yes, it’s come to this. The chapel provides social distancing to everyone except the bride and groom. Even the wedding officiant is on Zoom.
Culvert Zip Line
A novel approach that features a look up, instead of a look down. You won’t see the Strip or Downtown, but you will see sky. A metaphor for the new Las Vegas!
The Non-Casino Themed Casino
First of its kind: a casino with a theme of (apparently) no casino. Craps tables are hidden in the buffet, since nobody is using that space. Slots and video poker machines are out by the pool. It’s a way to make gaming elusive and hence, attractive.
In addition to these new attractions, there are new guidebooks that aim to specialize:
The Book of Wild Ideas for Casinos
This guide for the gaming industry includes creative suggestions such as freeze the lake at the Bellagio, so VGK fans can skate there; begin to modernize Vegas icons, so that Cirque du Soleil impersonators can take over from Elvis impersonators; create a new slogan for New York- New York: “We’re safer than the real thing”; and develop a new slogan for the town, such as “We’ll Get Our Bearings Soon.”
Squatters’ Guide To Casinos That Are Still Closed
Novel approach to free housing and use of a pool, with maps and tips included. Just watch out for security, and be prepared to cook your own meals.
Map to the Pharmacies on the Strip
They used to sell maps to the stars’ homes in Hollywood, but times change. In Las Vegas, a guide to pharmacies may sound weird, but the reality is they’re all over the Strip now.
These attractions and new guides may not appeal to everyone, but the paradigm has shifted in Las Vegas. It’s time we shifted, too. We have nothing to fear, except no visitors.
