Vegas Goes Mad In March?

The NCAA March Madness will hit Las Vegas this month. But what would happen if Vegas really went mad? Columnist Ira David Sternberg has some suggestions.

Vegas Goes Mad In March?

The annual March Madness in Las Vegas is big stuff, as the NCAA basketball tournaments are in full swing and The Big Dance, Sweet 16, Elite Eight and Final Four become the common language in all of our sports books.

While it’s a big deal in Las Vegas, non-sports fans have no idea what these terms mean. So, the city could expand March Madness by creating “mad” experiences that would attract those non-sports fans as well.

For instance:

• The Strip offers parking on its famed street

• Jackpots paid in dice clocks

• The Mirage moves down the block and the old location becomes a mirage

• Helicopter tour of the “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign

• Acrophobia Convention on the Observation Deck at the Strat

• Opening of a seniors-only nightclub

• Disappointing marquee on the Strip: “The Rat Pack Is Not Back!”

• The Luxor becomes an inverted pyramid for nutritionists

• “All you can’t eat buffet,” where you are cut off when you should be

• The Fountains of Bellagio entertain a group of people with weak bladders

• The Forum Shops close their doors to shopaholics

• Bingo gets wacky with casino staff face-painting players with bingo daubers

• Last call at every bar in town

• Adele’s new show title: “Rumor Has It: This Time It’s For Real”

• New York-New York Hotel & Casino installs turnstiles for customers to jump over

• Lake Mead borrows from the Venetian and provides gondola rides

• The Fremont Street Experience distributes earplugs for its outdoor concerts

• The High Roller observation wheel at The LINQ Hotel has a “low roller” experience where people can sit in the cabin and not move

• The Neon Museum goes lights out

• A spokesperson for Madame Tussauds’ waxes eloquently

• Nude dancing clubs offer uncover charges

• Las Vegas Motor Speedway hosts its first rush hour event on the track, otherwise known as a parking lot to Vegas residents

• Escape rooms lock their building doors, providing a combination of thrills and real panic

• Red Rock Canyon conserves its red and goes to purple

True, these suggestions are madness for Las Vegas in March. But why not take advantage of tournament month and lean into it

Or we could simply do nothing and “Beware the Ides of March.”

Articles by Author: Ira David Sternberg

Ira David Sternberg is host of “Talk About Las Vegas With Ira,” a weekly podcast that features engaging conversations with celebrities, entertainers, writers, and personalities. He is a veteran casino publicist with executive experience at the Tropicana and Las Vegas Hilton, as well as a writer and broadcaster. Listen to Ira’s weekly shows at He can be reached at